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Weekly Bugle: J.K. Simmons Might Return as J. Jonah Jameson After All

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The Weekly Bugle runs every week and includes all of the interesting and cool things we see around the web, but just didn’t quite make it as Featured News. The views expressed by JJJ are not necessarily those of Superior Spider-Talk – who honestly hope Jonah pursues a career in pizza.

Rejoice Buglers!

J. Jonah Jameson here – and my good friend Howard Stern had MOVIE SUPER-STAR J.K. Simmons on his program recently. As you likely know, J.K. Simmons once played me in the thrilling movie: “News-Man!” That was years ago and the franchise has been rebooted; but I often reminisce about the loosely adapted story of how I took on the Green Goblin in my own office! Many speculated that a new actor might be able to interpret a human personification of honesty and integrity in the newest adaption, but if I’m honest – only J.K. Simmons has ever impressed on me the kind of honest-to-God brilliance that I emulate on a daily basis.

Will J.K. Simmons Revise the Greatest Role of ALL TIME?!

j-jonah-jameson-102652Simmons’ quotes only show us that his return to the role is a “possibility”. But with such a dynamic and incredible role – you can bet that he will be chomping at the bit for a chance to show the true face of Fair and Balanced journalism!

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Prankster Attends Charity 5K Run Dressed as Spider-Man – Makes Webby Mess

Screenshot 2015-01-31 22.24.26As I have shown time and time again, Spider-Man continues to inspire vigilantism and anonymous littering all over the world – and now masked webslinger copy-cats are trashing charity events and taking costume trophies from cute children. WON’T SOMEBODY PLEASE – THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!

 

Spider-Man Unlimited Gets (Yet ANOTHER) Update with New Level/Boss/Spiders

10941032_394778024017607_1996131844756730266_nThe brilliant minds at Gameloft are once again updating their popular rag-doll physics game with a brand new level, heroic boss, and skull-smashing obstacles that the entire family will enjoy! No one is tired of this game, it will always be fun. Smash that criminal floozy into a subway train again! And again! AND AGAIN!

 

I WARNED THEM! “Everything Wrong with the Spider-Man Musical”

Spider-Man FallThere were two things fundamentally wrong with the Spider-Man themed Broadway Musical. Firstly it was about Spider-Man – a menace to society who wants to terrorize the people of New York. But also – that sticky degenerate is a terrible singer. Just last tuesday, Fact Channel correspondents witnessed Spider-Man singing “Shake it Off” annoyingly while fighting the Shocker on a public street.

 

Is It a Sculpture of Spider-Man – Or a Love Letter? Or Worse?!

img_2674Has art gone too far? Or does the controversy give the piece a musing that is attractive to the artisan’s eye? Should we really glorify the actions of madman in tights swinging in a flamboyant disregard for public safety? Why does anyone love Spider-Man?! It’s only going to get worse as this sort of vulgar hero-worship becomes common-place.

I hate art.

 

Spider-Man and his Hulk Buddies Sic a Dinosaur on My Employees

Screenshot 2015-01-31 22.28.44‘Nuff said.

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Bendis And Bagley Talk Ultimate End #1

ultimate-end-1-marquez-variant-dressed-120137Comic creators sit down to discuss an upcoming comic with an interesting premise – the end of Spider-Man! Unfortunately, the entire universe along with the webhead is doomed to end in this particular instance. Hopefully it won’t come to that in our world – even though it would probably be worth it to never see my window webbed again.

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