Ouch.  This issue was hard to read.

I remember a time when I was beyond excited for “Spider-Verse” to begin.  Superior Spider-Man was back in play, new iterations of Spider-Man (and Women, and plenty of others) were being showcased and explored to prepare for the epic saga, and spin-off arcs suggested this would be a wide-ranging, fun adventure.

While no secret was made of the fact that this story would deliver “every Spider-Man ever,” I think it’s also fair for readers and Spider-Fans to hope and expect that this would not be the only thing it achieved. We want our stories to matter, and not feel like a floundering mish-mash of disconnected narratives that don’t know what they’re trying to achieve. “Spider-Verse” never explicitly promised readers a unified theme, or compelling plot with memorable characters and moments, but there was an understandable desire that this could, and would be achieved in the course of the storytelling.

Unfortunately, with each new issue I read, I find this is far from the case.  And time is running out.

Nowhere is the discombobulated nature of the “Spider-Verse” arc embodied more than in Spider-Verse #2. Unlike its predecessor, this issue contains only five stories (of varying length) that briefly explore Spider Totems from other realities. Like its predecessor, it does nothing to tie into or advance the larger story, but continues the introduction of new characters that the Edge of Spider-Verse mini-series began–again begging the question of why Edge of Spider-Verse ended in the first place. And, like its predecessor, it leaves readers wondering what this mini-series, so prominently named after the main story arc, was supposed to achieve.

It’s not that all of the individual stories are particularly un-enjoyable, either.  Dan Slott’s bookend stories are decent entries. “It’s Showtime,” the one-pager that starts off the issue, is an amusing, if wholly unnecessary tale about Morlun one-hit-killing a video game iteration of the wall crawler, much to the consternation of the little boy playing Spidey in the game.  Anyone who’s played video games, particularly fighting games, will empathize with that boy’s shock. “It’s the Little Things,” the close-out story, effectively makes the case that the degrees of separation between the Spideys of the various realities don’t have to be to the extent to which they’ve been portrayed throughout most of “Spider-Verse.”

But even with the decent stories, there’s the nagging question of how important they are. “Spider-Verse” has gone on for so long, showcased so many new Spiders, and made no apologies about killing some of them off suddenly, that it’s easy to read these stories and then forget about them, lest we start to form attachments to characters that will get knocked off a little while later. “Spider-Verse’s” unfocused narrative also contributes to this malaise, since we’re not sure what purpose these character introductions now serve, other than to exist in the story. That, alone, is never a good reason to tell a story.

Even the other decent story, “With Great Power Comes No Future,” feels gimmicky and insincere when viewed through this lens. While I’m all for the use of Hobie Brown as Spider-Man, and I dig the overall visual vibe of this story, it still has some noteworthy issues. For one, it’s narratively flawed–I mean, seriously? “Prez Ozzy” didn’t know/anticipate that the V.E.N.O.M. suits were vulnerable to sonics before deploying them in a battle? He’s egotistical in any reality, but he’s also not that stupid, either. Setting that complaint aside, this mood piece feels a little too obviously like an attempt to replicate the lightning in a bottle sensation that sprang up around Spider-Gwen in Edge of Spider-Verse #2, with its musically inclined Spidey who isn’t Peter Parker, and its punk rocker stylization. And I hopefully don’t need to go into the rich irony of an anti-establishment story being told by a media company that is now owned by one of the largest corporations in the world.

The other two stories were far less impressive to me. “Anansi: A Spider In Sheep’s Clothing” featured a visually completely different Spider Totem patterned after the spirit from African folklore whose tendency for trickery ends up perturbing the Spider-Man who came to recruit him.  The art is decent, but the comical premise of the story struck me as needless and off-putting in a larger story that already has so little narrative focus. “El Espiritu de las Calles,” told completely in Spanish, has the most breathtaking artwork of any of these stories, as well as a Spidey with a similar-yet-distinct visual look to him, but the dialog lacks punch and the narration doesn’t flow well. I also rolled my eyes at having to Google translate the whole thing as well. I had fewer issues with that annoyance than the overall weakness of the storytelling though. Maybe something was lost in the translation, but I rather doubt it.

I guess that’s my problem with this whole issue. It repeats the weaknesses of the first, which now seem horribly amplified by what has become an obvious lack of direction from the main story.  It feels like readers are simply expected to buy these comics because they exist, whether they’re worthwhile or not.

Quality storytelling and compelling plot development and characters are incidental–or worse, completely optional–as far as “Spider-Verse” is concerned. This briefest of mini-series drives that point home prominently with its shot-in-the-dark approach to storytelling and its confused sense of purpose. To be fair, there is some quality artwork throughout this issue, and several moments that make you smile or laugh, but they are relatively few, and don’t do enough to counteract the overall sense of plodding listlessness that permeates the narrative. It’s a sentiment I take no pleasure in stating–quite the opposite, in fact, as I really wanted this story to succeed–but, at least at this point, it’s one that I can’t deny.

Perhaps “Spider-Verse” can turn things around in the remaining few weeks it has. I hope it does, but I’m sorry to say that Spider-Verse #2 provides no evidence to believe this will yet happen.