Elliott Kalan’s second issue of Spider-Man and the X-Men is quite possibly one of the strangest comics you may ever purchase. While it makes good strides in keeping with the humor and sarcasm found in the Jason Aaron and Jason Latour volumes of Wolverine & the X-Men, the series lacks something the predecessor had in spades. It seems to lack sense. This issue is completely and utterly nonsensical. If you are the type of reader who digs that sort of thing, then this series is right up your alley. If you want a book that breathes the same maturity and impact that other books that feature these characters do, you may have stumbled into the wrong series.

By no means is this to say that issue #2 of Kalan’s series is worth disregarding, far from it. The series has great comedic moments and fabulous art. It’s also a kick for families who read comics together.

Still, things about Peter seem off in this issue. The responsibility Wolverine bestowed to Spider-Man (that whole “sniff out the mole” thing) is one that Peter has taken quite seriously. So seriously, that at times it seems primary to even protecting his mutant pupils. While they may be the trouble-makers and class clowns of Jean Grey Academy, Peter would never shirk the responsibility of their safety. All of his characteristics are present in the dialogue and jokes, but the spirit of Spider-Man is either missed or forgotten for the sake of story. Peter even throws in the towel at the discovery that the dinosaur herd are actually transformed humans. A seemingly dignified decision but it’s followed with no plan on Peter’s part. It felt like a convenient way to get the characters into Sauron’s headquarters.

Through a contrived series of events and turn-coating, the gang bands together and convinces (read: dupes) Stegron into reversing the Dino-Ray (yes, Dino-Ray). Readers are then left to assume Captain America has been called in to clean up this mess so that the story can run right into the pages of the next arc. It’s a slick, old-hat gag that Kalan uses to take out the bad-guys and it shows no real talent or skill on the behalf of the heroes, other than determination and distraction.

Another troubleshooting problem is the continuity in this issue. It’s a total mess trying to figure out where to place the story. Spider-Man is not being attacked by Morlun, so we can rule out “Spider-Verse.” Meanwhile, Sam Wilson (who makes a super brief appearance) is clearly Captain America, thus confirming the next point: Wolverine is (still) dead. Also, Cap does not actively do or say anything to infer he has been “inverted” as he was in the early stages of “AXIS,” meaning we are either right before or right in the middle of the event. Then there’s Storm, who seems more frustrated and distrusting than usual but she also gives no real reason to assume she has been inverted. What is even more troublesome, she is not on the run as she is in her titular series by Greg Pak, and with Logan dead we can safely rule out this happening anytime during the reading of Xavier’s will. So… when the heck is this happening? It makes for a strong case to say that these are out-of-continuity, throw away stories made for laughs and giggles.

Laughs and giggles aren’t bad but they don’t always work with Spider-Man. Sure, Sauron and Stegron are really an obligatorily humorous villain duo. Yes, having them fawn over Shark Girl, though creepy, is also humorous. But aside from Shark Girl earning some confidence points, there’s no real sense that anything dramatic or imperative has happened in this book. That is to say, if we are expecting the X-Kids to grow as characters in this series, a little more than a side-tracked adventure to a dino-fied Staten Island is needed.

The art is fun and effective. One misstep though is Spider-Man’s size. The web-head is noted for his limberness but he looks almost scrawny here. Lean, mean, webbing-machine is one thing but Peter seems to need Aunt May to give him a big cup of whole milk in the mornings. That said, it’s easy to get a kick out of his big, McFarlane-esque eyes combined with those bright red and blues circa 1967. Marco Failla and Ian Herring have developed a style that is classic but also modern, cool, and all their own. The X-Kids are consistent too, and it’s nice to see someone give Shark Girl facial expressions reflective of her dialogue for once.

Is this the best follow up issue to a fairly solid starting issue? Hardly. But it’s a decent enough bridge issue into the next arc which includes both Chameleon and Mojo, two of my personal favorite villains. From the looks of things, Spider-Man and the X-Men is shaping up to be an all-ages read. This is understandably disappointing to some fans but it will be a welcome change to parents who are conscientious of the violence throughout the current Amazing Spider-Man run.

While it’s not exactly a longshot, hopes are high that their first encounter with Mojo leads to some actual growth as a team for the X-Kids. Especially since this is their only book for that sort of development (as of now).