The Weekly Bugle includes all of the interesting Spider-Man things we see around the web that didn’t quite make our Featured News. The views expressed by JJJ are not necessarily those of Superior Spider-Talk. Jonah seems to only read the headlines. Also this totally doesn’t happen once a week.
The Weekly Bugle
By J Jonah Jameson
Homemade terrorism. That’s what this has all come down to. These… social anarchists that YouTube their “fan-videos” with absolutely no attempt to hide the disgusting fact: today’s youth are in love with the vigilante know as Spider-Man.
No one ever makes a “damage done to the city” video, or “victims of vigilante cruelty” video. New York City is just trying to hang on as more and more costumed criminals rip our metropolis apart from the seams, but Spider-Man gets to wear a mask and terrorize WHO HE DECIDES needs to be punched in the face. Despite his complete disregard for the justice system and our fine police force; this growing trend of hero-worship continues to spawn supporters, and with the ease of home-made propaganda – videos are now all over the YouTube with a misleading take on the wall-crawler.
Take this video for example. The uploader gets his jollies by making fake movie footage of Spider-Man hanging out near Avengers tower and being chummy with a window-washer.
Of course this obvious Spider-Propaganda was eventually revealed to be fake – why is the online community obsessed with the idea that Spider-Man is a fun, good-natured lawbreaker? Wake up sheeple. The webby creep is NOT your friend. He’s not one of “The Heroes of New York”. Stop painting him as a kindly stranger that happens to stick to walls.
Or what about this load of malarkey? Spider-Man tries to steal money from some thugs who just robbed a bank (one of his favorite tricks), but gets caught by an honest civilian before he can take the loot.
Easy conclusion, right? But noooooo. Thanks to the neck-bearded hivemind, Spider-Man is fooling the unskeptical masses into thinking that he is a good guy. He’s popular at crime scenes, wears a mask, and is wanted by police – but FANS continue to be blinded by his colorful tights and flamboyant attitude.
But I can already hear the internet trolls “But Jonah – Spider-Man has super-powers – what harm could his fans do?” It turns out that videos are not the only fan-made nonsense that the internet has produced:
This is what happens when our children are allowed to look up to vigilantes. Who should get blamed when a child jumps off a building because he saw Spider-Man do it? Who wants to see a kid go to the hospital because someone thought making a wrist-mounted projectile was “cool”?
Despite my numerous warnings, fan-made content will continue to grow and get worse if the public isn’t informed. Despite anything Spider-Man does when people are watching, it’s what he does in the shadows and upside down on the ceiling that counts. His actions promote a dangerous image that kids don’t know any better to ignore.